I have been enjoying to go on a run in the last 2 weeks more than I have ever enjoyed before. I have been running without pain, without the pain that didn't want to leave me alone. Being away from what I love to do for such a long time made me appreciate and cherish every step I can make without pain.
Running is my time to get away from everything and I do some of my best thinking when I’m running. Or if I have nothing to think about, I shut my brain totally off and space out. It’s my de-stresser, it keeps me sane, it give me energy, power and self control and sometimes that's all I need to keep me going. I have been feeling Fantastic lately and this mainly because I am back to running.
Running without pain is something I kept dreaming of from the moment I got injured. My injury was a real nightmare not only because I couldn't run but because I couldn't even walk normally, in the morning I walk down the stairs limping, it really took a toll on my life. My injury prevented me from being Fit from being Me. It is true I tried to do a triathlon or other things but always I came out with lots of disappointment and pain. For 9 months i struggled to find peace with myself, I had too much energy in me and I didn't know how to loose it.
End of July I went to Sint Maarten Clinic in Nijmegen and for sure to one of the best doctors in the Netherlands, after checking the MRI the doctor said I need to get my knee operated in order to be able to release the pain and be able to run again. The tendon is rubbing against the bone (Illotibial band Syndrome) and after such a long time if the knee is not healed than the surgery is recommended. Two months is the waiting list for the surgery...
My surgery is planned on Oct 11th, which is a week from now. I called the doctor to explain him that I have almost no pain when running (not yet 100%, a little soreness but no pain) and mainly no pain in daily activities but he said if you want to run marathons again you need to get the surgery done. Euh?
His answer made me confused and still confused... Now that I am finally enjoying a pain free run why on earth would I want my knee to be cut open? What Shall I do? What if I make a bad choice, I can't follow my heart because my heart is not telling me anything! Is it better to do the surgery and start fresh in 2013? Or better enjoy running and if pain comes back I can always do the surgery? What if pain comes back in 2013 do I really want to wait 2 months of waiting list and 2 months of recovery till I run again?
" Tough Choice"
I decided to go for a second opinion from another good doctor at the Bergman clinic in Naarden which is planned on Monday. Now jumping from one doctor to another is also not a good solution. I asked few people with experience about their opinion and I came back with all kind of answers...Now even more confused.
On Monday the decision has to be made! After all I am the one who has to make the choice it is my body it is my life.
Shall I do it?
Shall I do it?